A Day Without Me
by THE REVIEWING MASTER
Summary: It is Grell's birthday, and what he wants if for William to be happy, and so he decides to give William what he wants most: A day without him. But despite Grell not being there, William encounters things that makes him wonder if he ever knew the man, and how he feels about him. (WARNINg: Contains depressing/disturbing themes, as well as a character death and GRELLIAM!)
1. 6 AM

***Disclaimer* I don't own Kuroshitsuji!**

**So, all these short story photos kept popping up on my facebook… and I figured I'd adapt one! So, on another note, I guess I was inspired by that short story… so I'm not sure I entirely own this either then!**

**I give some credit to a friend who helped me plan this out (ie. themes, sentences, words, ideas and such).**

**Contains a lot of depressing themes and such, so I give you this one and only warning!**

***bows* I hope you all like this!**

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**William POV**

_ Dear William,_

_ Guess what? It's my birthday! So, I thought about what I wanted most, since every year I try to get what I want most. So… this year, I decided I wanted you happy! And what makes you happier than having me not around? So... I'll leave you alone for the next 24 hours of my birthday! Have a great day!_

_ ~Grell Sutcliff~ signed 12:00 AM_

I frown at the note that was left on my office door at work. Just what I needed at 6 AM. Surely, this was another one of Grell's tricks….

_A whole day without Sutcliff, _I wonder to myself as I head inside my office. Well… it'd be interesting. But knowing the reaper, this was just another joke, another trick. Just an amusement for him… like the note claimed, it was his birthday after all. It'd be just the way for a person like him to celebrate it... as I walk towards my desk, I glance at the calendar on the wall.

Sure enough, it was his birthday. Shaking my head, I sit down in the swivel chair, enjoying the early hours. It was always quiet the early… quiet, tidy. Great time to start and plan out my day. Putting Grell's note out of my mind, I enjoy the scenery of the room.

There's a desk, chair, a large window to my right where the early sunlight comes in. Two large couches for when people visit, or certain matters are to be discussed. Filing cabinets, shelves. The perfect epitome of a straight, strict and organized office.

Nodding with satisfaction of nothing amiss, I turn to look down at the files piled on my desk. My normal work I left the night before was piled on the right, as it always was… but there was a pile to my left. Wondering what it could be, I assumed it was work I had intended to get around to and never finished last night. I quickly pick them up, my eyes scrolling through them, flying over the pages… but I didn't recognize the names of these people. Not people I had reviewed on the death list.

Frowning, I look to the name signed on it… and then didn't believe it.

_~Grell Sutcliff~_

So… he had completed the entire work for the day… when? I look at the time. 6:08 AM. What, did he complete it all night? And why? Then again….

The note he left on my door would explain it. Finishing today's work, he didn't have to come in to complete it. Then he could successfully leave me alone. I shake my head and go through the rest of the files. I didn't care if he spent all night on the files, at least they were done.

Nodding with satisfaction, I return to my normal work. I decided I would go to find Grell to investigate the meaning of this later.


	2. 8 AM

***Disclaimer! I don't own Kuroshitsuji.**

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**William POV**

After doing the morning's paper work, I get up and head out. It's about 8 AM, so if Grell is going to show up, he may be here. I pick up the finished files and head to his office so he can go and submit them. I walk down the spacious halls, passing people on the way. I would have kept going when I overhear some recruits talking.

"Did you see the freak?"

"Oh, gosh, I know, right?"

"He's so annoying…."

"Not to mention _useless!_"

The voices of the recruits are quiet, but not enough. I quickly interrupt with "Don't you three have somewhere to be?". They frantically nod when they see me, and turn and take off to whatever jobs they had to do. Shaking my head, I keep on walking. The words stuck in my head… and the looks they gave me made me wonder….

_Could they be talking about Grell?_ It was plausible. Oh, well. People talked like that all the time, and Grell never really paid attention. And when he did, there was hell to pay. Grell wasn't a forgiving person most of the time.

I walk into the hall where his office is, when I run into no other than Ronald Knox.

"Hey, Knox, have you seen Grell?" I ask the younger man. He shakes his head.

"He might have another stomach ache… or so he claims." Ronald shrugs. "You can try his office, but I've knocked a few times, and no one answered. And I'm not walking in. Last time I went in without knocking… Grell wasn't happy." He shudders, and I roll my eyes and begin to walk away.

When something hits me and I pause, turning to look back at him. "… Stomach ache?" Now that was more of a reason for him not to come to work. If there was illness among the workers, I must know. Ronald shrugs again.

"Well… he doesn't eat at times, saying his stomach isn't feeling great, but I have a feeling that he just doesn't want to eat, you know?" Ronald looks a bit upset, and I continue stare back.

"What do you mean?"

"Well… he just doesn't eat. Then he eats… a lot…."

I raise my eyebrows, but he doesn't see, for he has taken to staring at the floor and continues on.

"… I try to ask what was wrong, if he was sick, but he always changes the subject. Every time I ask him certain questions sometimes, it looks like it bothers him and he closes up. Or he laughs at me and pretends everything's fine… but the look on his face…"Ronald suddenly looks uncomfortable, so I decide to drop the subject.

"Thank you, Knox, you can continue on with your work." I head into Grell's office.


	3. 8:10 AM

***Disclaimer- I don't own Kuroshitsuji***

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**William POV**

Slightly bothered by Ronald's description of Grell, I walk into the latter's office. While I wasn't aware of Grell's eating habits (why should I?), I had noticed him losing weight. I noticed, but it never really bothered me. So I left it at that.

Grell's office had some comfy and welcoming aspects. As well as red.

The floor had the normal grey carpeting, but he had managed to squeeze a bright red couch into the place, which sat on the right wall. The left wall had black filing cabinets. His desk was black as well, but with a multitude of red pens. Papers scattered about, unorganized. Some paintings on the wall. I noticed a few dolls sitting on the couch… sort of disturbing.

I approach the desk, my eyes scanning the top. It looked even more disorganized up close… I was about to leave when a flash of red caught my eye. Curious, I reached out to grab at it. It was a red journal, bound in leather. I shake my head, putting it back down, and decide to head back to my office… when my curious gets the better of me.

I pick up the book again, flipping through the pages, when I land at a random one near the beginning. With boredom, I begin to read the pages not in any particular order.

_~April 9__th_

_Today was great! Not terrific, but what else can I expect? I had all the normal reapings, the normal jobs. It was normal. William reprimanded me when I didn't get back to hand in the files before closing time, so we had to work over time. I couldn't help it, I needed that exact shade of red lipstick. Blood-red, a nice scarlet color... beautiful, if you ask me._

Raising an eyebrow, I flip to another page near the middle. This was all pretty normal... at least, what was normal for Sutcliff.

_~October 14__th_

_It felt as though the entire day ticked by, slowly, painfully. I am stuck in office work, so nothing exciting happened again. Nothing I like to think about anyways…_

_Another incident happened today. I could push all the other incidents out of my mind, but this one really bothered me. It was when I was leaving my office, heading home, when a some co-workers where in the lounge talking. Of course, in that one moment, I HAD TO WALK BY. But it was bound to happen. The voices spoke with a slight bitterness, but at the same time spiteful humor._

'_Can you believe that trans-gendered freak?' 'I know, I had to work overtime because of IT.' 'Sometimes, I just wished IT would go away.'_

_Scowling, I rush past the room loudly, my heels clicking on the floor to let them know I was there, and that I heard them. They went quiet, of course… but did it matter? Why, why were they quiet with me around? If they had such a problem with me, they could say it in front of my face-_

I stopped reading, slightly disturbed. It was true that some people talked about Grell… a lot. But that was… I frown and head back to my office. I took the journal with me, though I wasn't sure why. Because I wanted to read it? Honestly though, to figure out what that red-haired thing thought all the time….

_He,_ I corrected myself. _That red-haired reaper. _I couldn't call him a thing. Not like the fiends that he had wrote about. I could at least try to be nice.

As I go back, I am surprised with the feeling that I want to read more.


	4. 9:14 AM

***Disclaimer- I don't own Kuroshitsuji***

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**William POV**

I sit down in my office, pulling out a paper. I decided another way to be nice to Grell was to at least try and celebrate his birthday. So, I grab a pen, and try to write.

_Happy birthday Sutcliff._

I stare at the page blankly. It was…. Straight forward, pretty relaxed… actually, it had to be the worst birthday card I have ever given to someone. I crumple up the paper and prepare to re-write it.

_Dear Sutcliff_

_Grell_

_Grell Sutcliff, I just wanted to say_

_I wish you_

_So_

I sit at the desk mutely, watching the pile of crumpled paper get bigger. I really had no idea what to say. I mean, what was I supposed to do. _Don't be a moron, William, get him a present or something…._

Satisfied with that idea, I toss the used papers aside, and get up to head out of the office. That's what I should do… get a present. That's what people did for birthdays, right? It seemed to make sense. So, I get up, deciding just to leave. I can catch up on my work later.

Clutching the journal as well with the hopes of returning it to his office, I head out. I hadn't read anymore, and I sort of felt it as an invasion of privacy. Shrugging off the doubts, I walk out of the building with the intent of getting a present. No one questions me, so I am left uninterrupted as I think over everything.

_Alright, a present…. what do I do?_ I suddenly freeze in the center of the side-walk, realizing the fatal flaw in my plan. Did I even know what to do? Where was I supposed to go? Did I just go out, find something at random that I thought Grell wouldn't mind, and buy it? Then give it to him?

_Is it supposed to be expensive? Or something he'd enjoy? I think the latter…_ and with that, at 9 AM, I walk around downtown London, hoping to find something suitable for him

_No, not this… or that… or that…_ what with Grell put up with, he deserved something nice. Just this once. I pass by a florist shop… and halt in my tracks. The scent of freshly cut roses wafts in the air, tantalizing. I am drawn into the shop, and take a quick look around.

Flowers, all different kinds, sit around, some in pots, others in vases of water. All healthy and beautiful.

"What were you looking for, lad? Something for the lady perhaps, eh?" An old woman comes out the back, chuckling. I shake my head.

"A birthday present."

"A present? Oh… well, we have sunflowers! Bright, pretty, always a good catch!"

I shake my head. Those flowers were indeed nice… but they wouldn't complement Grell's complexion, his attitude, or his red-covered office…._red._

"Do you have roses?" I ask quickly, and the lady smiles and nods, her old grey curls bouncing.

"Oh, yes, we have a bunch!" She goes to a window, and brings out a large bouquet of them. They're beautiful, fresh and crisp. And a bloody, scarlet red.

Thanking the lady and paying, I head out with them. I suppose this is the best present I can hope to offer Grell.


	5. 9: 45 AM

***Disclaimer* I don't own Kuroshitsuji**

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**William POV**

While I'm heading back to the dispatch, deciding to head back to finish my work and see Grell, I run into Undertaker. It was his voice I heard giggling in an alleyway that gave him away.

"Ah, William, seeing someone important?" He chuckles as he watches the flowers in my hand, and I shrugs.

"They're for Grell."

"Oh, it's the young lady's birthday today, isn't it? How interesting… I am a tad busy today, so I dropped of her present yesterday!" He smiles through the bangs that cover the majority of his face. I briefly wonder what on Earth he'd be busy about, seeing as he was just creeping around.

"Right… well have a good day…" I start to edge away, wanting to get back to the dispatch to finish my work, when he interrupts.

"Yes, I believe I will…. truly sorry for Grell, seeing as she'll be aaaalllll alone on her special day. Like she really needs to be brought down more…."

I freeze, looking at him with interest. "… brought down?"

"Yes, brought down. She is always sad… he has even come to me a couple times, sobbing. I think she even came by once drunk out of her mind… hmm…." He turns to begin to walk away down the alley, when I call out a question.

"Drunk? I've never seen Grell drunk…." Sure, I'd seen him drink. But I never heard him of how Undertaker was currently describing him.

"Yes, very. Could barely stand, the poor doll. She is always troubled… always sad, upset. Though she covers it up very well. And her attitude has become so reckless… she needs to be careful. Do keep a careful eye on her, William, she's hiding stuff. Agony and pain should never be withheld, or it destroys the host." And with that, Undertaker disappears into the shadows, leaving me standing there wondering what on Earth that was about.

_Agony and pain….. should never be withheld?_ I think over his words as I walk away. Grell was happy… at least him seemed to be. He would pout when I turned down his offers for a date and such, and would look upset if I told him he was doing something wrong. Or if I talked about how he needed to do better at his job.

Yes, I'd snapped a couple of times, but I mostly yelled at him. I only used force when I absolutely needed to, generally out on a job, when there was more at stake.

Could it bother him that much? Not just what I did, but what everyone did?

The loud, out-going reaper... who probably suffered in silence. Every day… but why? I decide to ask him about it…. still holding the flowers, the journal still nestled into my jacket pocket, I head over to his house.


	6. 11AM

***Disclaimer- I don't own Kuroshitsuji***

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**William POV**

I knocked on the door again, to no avail. Why wouldn't he answer? But, if he was taking the day off, why on Earth would he be home. I tried to turn the door handle, but it was locked.

Frowning, I look around. Grell lived in a small shinigami neighborhood, with a nice little house. I sit on the steps, deciding to wait for a while. He'd have to come home at some point.

I casually reach into my jacket pocket for Grell's journal. The leather, worn and soft, was comforting to my hands as I flip the book open. Might as well read for a bit, I was sure it wouldn't hurt much, would it?

_~March 27__th_

_I felt terrible today. Finding out Alan had the Thorns of Death, the only thing that could kill us medically, really made me depressed. Sure, we didn't talk too much, but I didn't have many real friends. _

_How much time did the brunette have? I mean, I couldn't lose a friend… imagine being able to live forever, and to just have it suddenly taken away from you? To realize that a part of your being was forfeit?_

_And no longer would I see him around. I wouldn't see him in the lounge, or out on a reap, or in the cafeteria line, waiting for terrible food. And boy, I'd eat all that food, over and over again if it meant I didn't have to lose a friend._

_And it makes me more worried. I mean, if he goes, who else is left? I'm not close to many, I'm not friends with many. Could I live forever, on a lonely road?_

_Then again, should I even care? Would anyone else miss someone like ME?_

I stop reading. This was… depressing. Not to mention, old. Alan… and Eric… died awhile back. I swallow the lump in my throat. Us immortal beings shouldn't die. But I had gotten over it…. we were grim reapers, after all. We got over death.

But apparently Sutcliff hadn't. Frowning, I flip through some more pages. To wonder what Grell felt was… painful. But it was worth reading… perhaps I could… I don't know, do something? Make life worthwhile for him? I had to try… but first, I needed to know what was wrong.

I look at another page.

_~November 3__rd_

_I stood on a bridge today, staring at the water. I loved to watch it move; it went by fast, taking everything with it. And once it went by, it was gone, nearly impossible to find again. Sometimes I can't help but feel that way._

_Like I'm in that river, drowning, but no one can help me. Would anyone really care? If I disappeared, I'd be like that water. I'd be gone, quickly. Maybe to a better or worse place, who knows? Better than here. I mean, no one would care if I was gone anyways._

_Sometimes, I wake up feeling like the world is great, terrific. Amazing. But then I look at my life. I can't go on every day, with everyone hating me and who I am, what I am. And they hate me …. for that reason. Because I choose to be this way. No being should be treated like that._

I stare at the pages. So… this is what he thought? Every day of his life? All the time? Suffering quietly, but never letting anyone know, because he thought no one cared? I am about to close the book when a name catches my attention. My name.

_~February 17__th_

_He yelled at me. Today. Again. Normally, I can handle it, brush it off like it meant nothing. But I couldn't this time._

_I went to bother William in his office, hoping to emit some sort of emotion from him. Couldn't the man do anything but frown at my futile efforts at everything I did?_

_But no. It was entirely my fault though… at this point, I can't remember what happened. I crossed a line, and William said "You're so useless, I don't even know why you're one of us in the first place. The authorities must have made a mistake when they said you could be one of us'. He then stalked off, and left me there stunned. Yes, I had heard it before, and I've heard even worse. But not from him like that. _

_And I left, angry. I mean, I felt he had not right to say something like that! But then, I thought it over some more._

_I was alright at my job… but it wasn't like I adored it. And then, for some reason, no matter how hard I tried, I always messed up. So maybe, he and everyone else was right. All I do is mess up, over and over again._

_And while it made me upset, at this point I stopped caring if everyone else cared. But when I see the person I love look at me, dead-on, and tell me I'm useless, I'm not sure I can take anymore. Why live when the one person you care for hates your very being?_


	7. 11:15 AM

***Disclaimer- I don't own Kuroshitsuji***

**This one is short… sorry! XC**

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**William POV**

My lip hurt from where I bit it. I just endure the pain though as I stared blankly at the journal entry.

Had I done that? I remember Grell, always being so happy. And I… I helped break that? Break someone that was just trying to be themselves?

Break someone who, in all their personality, was actually beautiful?

My eyes burned as I slowly closed the book. What would life be without him? Having him never around to annoy and pester me. Never worry about him. He couldn't cause any more trouble, or decorate the dispatch in bright red.

It'd be… not peaceful. Quiet. Quiet, and dull. Could I walk into a cold office, with blank colors staring me in the face? Could I do that every day, nothing new or exciting, just a job to do, files and reapings to tediously go over? His voice would never be heard again. Just a sound that would disappear throughout time, a mouth that would stay quiet throughout all eternity.

_I can't, _I realized. I couldn't live with just a memory, a lost memory, lost chances taunting my mind.

_So… I should at least try._

I stand slowly to my feet, deciding to try again. And do it to the best of my ability.


	8. 1:24-2:28 PM

***Disclaimer- I don't own Kuroshitsuji***

**A shout-out to those people reading this! That's... AWESOME. ****And another shout-out to the reviewers! You guys are awesome!**

**Sorry! Normally I would have updated this once a day… but I had exams. Don't hate me, for I just realized I left at a sort of cliffhanger during the last chapter… lucky for you guys I FINISHED MY EXAMS! But here is it… sorry this one is short.**

**Side-note… please don't hate me more for the way this may turn out. I gave a warning at the beginning chapter… and in the summary…..**

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**William POV**

"Two. A table for two."

"And you requested roses?"

"Yes."

The man looks at the bouquet of roses already in my hand, but I just smile a bit. Sighing, he nods and writes something down on the paper he's holding.

"Alright. 6 o'clock sharp, reservations for two, a Mr. Spears and a Mr. Sutcliff. The full meal course and… more roses…." He sighs and turns away from the desk. Nodding to myself contentedly, I turn to leave the small restaurant. I wondered if I was going to regret this… then decided I didn't. I already regretted many things at this point, so even if I did it wouldn't be the worst.

My eyes quickly check out my watch. The hands point out 1:24. _So, I have a few hours left, _I think as I head out. A lot of time had passed… but I wanted to be sure of everything. Make it worthwhile…

As I walk, I pause. Where _was_ Grell? I hadn't seen him all day… and he wasn't home…

Frowning, I glance at my clock and watch the hands tick tediously to 1:25. Middle of the day, the sun is almost unbearably hot, and I still wanted to change… but I had no idea where Grell was.

I glance down at my clothes. I wanted something nicer… I decide I have some time to spare. Holding the bouquet tightly still, I begin to head home, deciding on something a bit better…

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"William… red actually suits you." I say to my reflection as I adjust my tie. I am wearing a normal black suit, brand new, but the shirt under it is red instead of white. Everything else, like the vest, tie and such are the same. The dark blood color makes my eyes more noticeable. I can see why Grell would wear the color.

Once again, I look at the watch. Almost2:30... how the hell did time pass by so fast? Then again, I did just spend so much time trying to decide what to wear. But I needed to go. I needed to find Grell.

I smile ridiculously as I pick up the roses. I had put them in a vase before I left, to make sure they stayed alive. Still though, they were bright, vibrant and fresh. I slide the leather gloves on, then head for the door … and paused. Where _was_ he? At work? He wasn't there earlier….

Confused, I begin thinking. Where did Grell enjoy being? _What_ did he enjoy doing? Besides occasionally bothering me and other acquaintances.

_Others. That's it!_ Grinning, I head out the door to that manor. I can't help but believe that I was going to see that _demon, _and here I was smiling away. _But, as I've slowly come to realize, I'll do anything for you Grell._


	9. 2:56 PM

***Disclaimer- I don't own Kuroshitsuji***

**THANK YOU **REVEIWERS AND VIEWERS! YOU GUYS… ARE AWESOME!

Sorry for late updating! Been a bit busy with other things… but I thought this was an alright chapter. I mean, William and Sebastian having one of their normal 'chats' is always interesting.

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**William POV**

"Mr. Spears, how nice of you to stop by."

"Michealis. I was wondering if you've seen-"

"Mr. Sutcliff, undoubtedly. You really need to keep a leash on _it_, the thing causes so much problems for the young master."

"Why complain? You seem to be able to handle yourself just fine." I stood stoically, glaring slightly at the demon. He glared back slightly, though his eyes held a look that was … amusement, perhaps?

"I can indeed handle myself just fine, thank you." Sebastian answered coolly while staring back at me. I stood on the front steps of the Phantomhive manor, since this seemed like a logically place for Grell to be. Sebastian didn't look amused, and he raised his eyebrows at the bouquet in my hand. "Seeing someone?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Yes."

"That creature, no doubt." Sebastian sighed, looking bored. "May I ask why?

"You can ask. I may not answer."

"Well, then, I'll guess… you are looking for Grell, and you look rather fancy because… it's his birthday?"

I blinked. How could this _creature_ know something like that? As if he knew what I was thinking, Sebastian spoke again.

"Grell was practically announcing his special day to the whole of London. I would think that he could learn to restrain himself from such-"

"Such what?" I bit back harshly, interrupting him. Sebastian stopped and gave me a surprised and questioning look, but I continued. "Such 'unsightly' behavior? Such 'abnormal'-ness? Tell me, Michealis, what thoughts are rattling around in that unsightly head of yours."

He stares, probably wondering what that was all about. Then, he smiles slightly, the corners of his mouth turning up. "For your information, Mr. Spears, my head is perfect in every possible way. And I believe there are a number of names to describe Mr. Sutcliff. However, I feel as though you have worn out your welcome-"

I scoff. "Welcome?"

He narrowed his eyes, hating the interruption. "But, as it would seem, that thing you are looking for is not here. It left a while ago. I think it was going into town, if I'm not mistaken. Came by an hour ago, left a few minutes later." Sebastian stepped back into the manor. "Good day, Mr. Spears. And do us the fine courtesy of not coming again." And with that, he slammed the door in my face.


	10. 3:38 PM

***Disclaimer- I don't own Kuroshitsuji***

**Sorry for the late updating, I've been busy… thanks for the reviews/ follows/ favs though! Let me know if anything in this story is... 'off' (ie. Grammer)**

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**William POV**

Frowning to myself, I turned and left the Phantomhive manor. You think it'd kill a demon to be a little nicer. Then again, they are demons…

_Forget about that, Will. You need to try and figure out where Grell is…_ frowning, I decided to go to a place I already looked; Grell's house. Sure, he hadn't been there earlier… but at some point today, he'd need to be there. I hoped he came back soon enough so we could go out.

Then again, I'd be happy if he came back at all.

_Please, Grell, I'm so sorry._ I swear, I felt… well, _stupid_ was a good word. Of course, I could only think about work before… I didn't actually think about how what I said or did made others feel. But I couldn't help but smile to myself, realizing that I must have been doing something right.

And then, on the other hand I couldn't help but think of last week.

"_Sutcliff, can't you get those papers in?"_

"_Maybe…"_

"_Maybe isn't an excuse. Do them now."_

"_Someone's bossy… tense, Will?"_ He had smiled then, that shark-tooth smile of his… good god, how could that man smile continuously, and actually be honest about it…

_William, do you really want him to smile at you right now, even though you always seemed to hate his attention?_ I thought slowly to myself, but it only mad me more confused. The thought was sad… but it made me smile now. Actually have somewhere there, to care for. It made me laugh how so many people probably smiled without meaning to…

_But Grell, everything you said and did was so sincere…_ of course it was. I sigh and shake my head, forcing the thoughts down. All the way on the long trek to his house, these thoughts bothered me.

_Calm down William, when you see him you can tell him._ Tell him… what? I still wasn't sure… I thought about the failed birthday card attempt. This wasn't probably wasn't going to be easy…I strain to remain composed as I arrived at his house.

'_Suck it up, suck it up, you can do this'_ was my mental chant as I walked up the side-walk to his house, the bouquet still in my hand. The stems were slightly twisted from how much my hands were twisting them in my tight grip. Biting my lip more, I knocked on the door, inwardly wincing of what Grell would think.

The door moved.

For a moment I thought the red-head might have been waiting on the other side of the door, waiting for me to get in. But it only opened a bit, having moved when I knocked. I frowned, standing frozen on the steps. I was sure that the door had been locked earlier…

_Well, Will, what are you waiting for? Why won't you just walk in?_ Making another mental note to stop mentally making notes, I open the door all the way and go inside. It was warm and sweet smelling, the floor rug thick and soft under my feet. The place was decorated in red as well as black, and the occasional white and grey. Curtains blocked all light from outside, making the place dimly lit.

I walked in slowly, seeing the living room to my left. In front of me was along hall, with two doors on the right. I continued down the hall, to a kitchen. A half-eaten apple was on the counter, next to a small unfinished cup of coffee. Another doorway led off from the kitchen to a dining room. Sighing, I turn and headed back down the hall, checking out the first door.

_Just a guest room…_ even for a guest room, it was nice. Cozy. Smiling inwardly at the décor, I went to the next door. Red carpet as well, this room had its curtain open, lighting it up more than the rest of the house. I suppose it would, seeing as the entire wall across from me was a window. The bed was black and red, the walls made of white with grey and red accents… this must have been Grell's room. There were some chairs as well… black, thick and comfortable looking.

Resisting the urge to sit on them or the bed, I randomly crossed the room to look out the window.

The sky was light blue… what time was it? I looked at the time on my watch, only to see it was 3:38 PM. There was lots of time.

"There's always lots of time." I say aloud to myself as I place my hands in my pockets, staring the puffy white clouds floating slowly by. I didn't even realize I spoke aloud until a questioning voice was behind me.

"W-Will…? Is that you?"


	11. 3:39 PM

***Disclaimer- I don't own Kuroshitsuji***

**Feel… the feels…**

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**William POV**

"W-Will…? Is that you?"

The voice me happy for a moment. I felt that moment where you hear the voice of someone you want to see, you _need_ to say. Like your breath catches and you blush, but desperately hope you don't. I tried my best as I turned around, tried my best not to overly smile as I answered the voice.

"Hey, Gre- Mr. Sutcliff, I just came by to-" this time both my breath and voice catches, the words choking up in my throat. Grell somehow managed a bit of a laugh, but I watched as more of the blood dribbled over his lip, down his chin.

"W-Will…" He takes a hesitant step forwards, and for some reason the first thing I notice is that he is wearing a dark red dress shirt with dark black pants and socks. He looked rather nice, except for the fact that the shirt had been stained an even darker red from the blood coming from under it. As he stumbled towards me, his knees began to give it out, and in less than a second I found myself supporting him, holding him.

"Grell? What… what happened?" I knelt onto my knees, the carpet still soft under us. I placed him onto the floor, on his back, and brought up my hands to the wounds, pressing. I pressed onto the shirt, surprised to find some shards of glass there, protruding and slicing into my own hand. I frowned as I reached down to pull one gently out, and when I looked over his body for more wounds, I then noticed the sleeves that were rolled up, the gashes covering the pale skin on his arms, his wrist. I felt panic begin to overtake me.

"Will… you came… why? I thought… you wouldn't want to be around me." He manages a look of confusion, not at all filled with pain or worry. "You hate me…"

"Grell, no… why, Grell" I begin choking out the words, and I look back up at his face, into the bright yellowish green eyes that stayed fixed to my face.

"You hate me… he hates me, why…?" He stuttered, his voice starting to falter. Noticing this, I frowned and shook him.

"What? Why… we n-need to get you to a hospital… they can help you…" I put an arm under his arm, up under to support his back. Tucking my other arm behind his knees, I began to pull him up, and I heard him whimper in pain.

"D-don't…. just… go…" His eyes fluttered.

"We n-need to get to the hospital…" I cursed myself for sounding so weak, so hurt. I placed him back down, not wanting to move him, and I looked around the room. If only there was some way to get help.

"I'm going to-"

"Don't say it." I picked him up this time, standing shakily.

"W-William, I'm going-"

"I said stop it. Just…. just don't…" I headed into the hall, the walls a deep dark red. Red, red, red, everything red.

"Why… do you care? Why do you care… if I make it?" His eyes are now closed, the red lashes brushing against his cheek.

_Yes, Will, why do you care?_ I decide to ignore the question as I walk out the front door, hoping someone nearby outside could help.

"Grell, hold on, you'll make it…"

"I won't…"

"You have to."

"Right, c-can't have me gone… still need someone to help with the paperwork…" He almost laughs, but it is choked off by gurgling sounds. I pause mid-step to look down at him.

"… Grell, I'm sorry, just hold on…"

"You don't care. Nobody ever cares." I frown at his words while I hear some people outside yell when they see us, and they start coming over to help. Grell's lashes stay lightly closed. "Nobody can help anyways… the hospital… can't help."

"They can help." _They will. Because I can't lose you._

"W-why do you care?" His voice is a whisper as the people get neared. I could answer that in so many ways.

_Because I..._

I shake my head sadly. "Grell, just hold on."


	12. 5:05 PM

***Disclaimer- I don't own Kuroshitsuji***

**This scene is a bit of a time-skip from the last chapter... then again, I guess all these chapters are time-skipped, even if it is only a few minutes in some cases...**

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**William POV**

Funny how when someone dies, some don't believe it. I think, even in that moment, I could see why Undertaker could be as crazy as he was.

'_Grell, you're alive, you're alive, you're alive',_ was what I chanted mentally as I followed the doctor. The chant I had been thinking of for the past hour… they hadn't let me see him that long. And while I sat in the waiting room, worried sick about how Grell might be doing, the doctors did what they did all the time. Those tedious jobs of theirs… I wondered how they could stand it.

"Right this way." I followed the doctor down another hall. I was the only one following… no one else could, or would even come see Grell, of course. And I was the one who went with him into the hospital anyways…

As we walked, my eyes glanced down a hallway, pleading sadly. That hallway had a blue strip along the wall. This hospital held those stripes to let you know what type of patients were there in those particular halls. The blue stood for a person in stable condition, a person who had been fixed and was on their way to getting better.

_Please, god no, please, please, please…_ My eyes burned into the back of the doctor's head, willing him to turn, take me down that blue-striped hall, take me to Grell, where he would be happy and bouncing in his bed and already looking like new. He would probably be complaining about the food, or the boring stale rooms.

But the doctor continued down to the end of the hall, the end that seemed such a distance away. It took forever as we headed to the doors there, were he opened them and stepped aside to let me through. There was a nurse bent over _his_ body, and I stared at the red hair that piled on the pillow, over the floor. The nurse glanced up, and seeing who I was, headed out the door. The doctor closed it behind her.

Looking away from the bright red hair, I glanced around the room. Bright silver gurneys were placed everywhere, all but one of the empty. A clipboard rested on a nearby table, but I already knew what it was.

The walls that sickly white-looking color, with a single black stipe running through it.

_Black for death. How suiting._

Swallowing painfully, I continued forwards, when the door suddenly opened up behind me.

"Hey, Sir! You left this in the waiting room!" It was a cheerful looking brunette, holding up a bouquet of roses. The one I've been carrying all day. Scowling a bit, I gave her a '_do you fucking think this is the time for that_?' look. She seemed to get the message, because she froze in her tracks.

I hastily took the bouquet from her, irritation filling me. She quickly left, closing the door behind her once again.

For some reason, I laughed at the absurdity of the scene, before looking back at Grell's gurney.

"Well, that was annoying…" I spoke slowly, my voice sounding a bit rough. I then decided to look at that resting clipboard, which told me information I already knew.

**Patient's Name: ** Grell Sutcliff

**Current State:** Deceased

**Cause of Death: **Exsanguination (Blood-loss) by method of suicide

**Extra Notes:** Multiple self-inflicted wounds to the arms and wrists; glass impalement to the stomach.

Clearing my throat, I walked back to Grell's side to stare down at the pale face. So sweet and innocent in death. So still…

_Right as you got my full attention, you can't do anything…_

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**A/N: Sorry for the short Chapter! But there was a chance that the last chapter was going to be long… so I decided it'd be shorter if I did this part. And sorry if the 'paper/ certificate' for Grell's death wasn't 'smart' enough… I just wanted it simple.**

**I'll try my best to have the ending up soon! **


	13. 5:06

***Disclaimer- I don't own Kuroshitsuji***

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**William POV**

"I really wish you'd talk to me. That way, I wouldn't feel like an idiot standing here." I spoke slowly, now standing next to Grell. And even as I stood there, I didn't look at him. My hand tentatively reached out to touch his, and I looked at the bright red nails he took care of all the time. Time after time I always yelled at him to stop doing that, yelled at him to get to work.

"But maybe I'm an idiot that I'm trying to talk to you now…" I frown a bit, letting my eyes look over the fiery crimson hair. I wanted to touch it, see how soft it felt… but I couldn't. I turned my eyes back to the pale blue clothes the doctors and nurses put on him.

"I hate to break it to you Grell, but blue really isn't you color." I laugh a bit, and squeezed his hand, willing the cold, dead fingers to respond.

"Well, it's maybe not blue… more like a bluish-green. And pale, cold looking…" I look at his arms, which are covered heavily with bandages. But I could still see some old, dried blood staining the white gauze. I then looked at his stomach, where there was a lump. The doctors must have covered the wound there as well…

"You don't like the cold, do you…?" My voice was softer, nearly a whisper as I finally looked up at his face. White, pale, unmoving, the lashes still closed. It shouldn't be possible for someone to be so beautiful in death.

"Grell, answer me." I squeezed his hand again, willing harder.

"Please, answer me."

Nothing.

"Damn it, Grell." _Damn it damn it damn it._ Biting my lip, I bend over, pressing my forehead against his. _Don't leave me, please…_

_But he already left me._ I pulled away and opened my eyes, feeling them burning as I stared at the still face.

"… I-I brought you something." I placed the roses gently by his arm. The doctors might just get rid of them, but I didn't care. "And I didn't read this… well, some of it… but most of it I left unread." I placed his journal next to him as well.

"G-Grell… I just wanted to say… I'm…" I frown a bit, and bite down harder on my lip. "I just… I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not doing anything before. I'm sorry for ignoring you. I'm sorry for just… no being there." I wince at my own words, and quickly swipe at my eyes.

"And… I'm sorry for never realizing I loved you. I'm so sorry that it took your death to realize that." Breathing heavily, I keep my eyes on his face. "…please talk to me, Grell. Please answer me"

I stare at him, knowing he won't answer. Sighing slowly, I straighten up, fixing my glasses. "Ronald… is going to be mad. Well… upset." I push my hair back. "… I'm going to miss you. I couldn't even make it a day without you. Ironic…" stepping back, I let my eyes trail over his body.

"… Goodbye, Grell." I turn and head out the door, placing the cool, apathetic mask on my face that I've worn all my life. I leave the room, walking down the hallway, not paying attention to anyone else. Once I'm at the front desk of the hospital, I go and look for the papers I need to fill out.

I watch the black ink staining the papers, so much like the blood-

"Hey… are you that guy from earlier? I'm sorry… I came in at an inappropriate time." I look up to see the voice belongs to a brunette. The same one from earlier, who disturbed me when I was next to Grell's body.

"… It's… alright…"

"Are you sure? It must have been hard for you…" the woman sighs and shrugs. "I had a brother who died before. I think it was a demon that killed him… anyways, you'll also need to sign down here." She points to the bottom of the page, where a straight line lays. I quickly sign off my name before handing the papers back to her.

"Thank you." She smiles and places the papers together with a clip. I raise an eyebrow.

"I sign my friend's death papers, and you say 'thank you'?"

"Oh… yeah, how rude of me, I didn't mean that... it… mean whatever…" She shrugs again and laughs, biting her lower lip awkwardly. "I meant thanks for signing you name and filling out all the stuff… William? Or would you prefer Mr. Spears?"

"William. And I really should be going now… Miss…?" I pause, my voice questioning.

"Miss Summers, but I go by my first name. Bridget."

"Bridget…" I pause and bite my own lip, wondering if I really should. _You can't let another chance escape though, can you?_ "Well, Bridget, would you like to attend with me on a date? 6 o'clock… sharp…"

She blushes. "Me? Right now? But it's… already 5:16." She looks at the clock in the corner, then back at me.

"Yes, right now." I hold out my hand and smile when she takes it. "We may not have all the time in the world, right?"

"Of course… Will." She blushes more and chews on her lower lip again, and starts to walk.

_Grell, I'm sorry. Just sorry. And I hope you could understand everything I do._ Inhaling and exhaling slowly, I walk next to Bridget, turning my head to smile at her. She smiles back.

_Congratulations. It was your birthday, and you wanted to make me happy._

_And at least one thing about this day was happy._

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Author's Note!:

**Alright! There! Done! It's finished! Last notes?**

**Well, I wasn't sure **_**EXACTLY**_** how to end it… this was the best way I could think of. I needed at least one tiny happy thing about it. This was the first sad/depressing story I've ever written… I am fairly satisfied with it.**

**Alright, so THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! THANK YOU FOR THE FAVS AND FOLLOWS! Kept me motivated to continue, knowing people out there actually wanted to read it…**

**Sorry if you are a bit unhappy or I broke your hearts. As long as I'm happy, and some people are happy… that's all that matters.**


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